Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us. Forward!
Walt Kelly, The Pogo Papers
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
The Princess Bride, 1987
And if California slides into the ocean
Like the mystics and statistics say it will
I predict this motel will be standing until I pay my bill
Warren Zevon, “Desperados Under the Eaves”
Yesterday the devil came here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today.
Hugo Chavez, speaking after George W. Bush at the United Nations in 2006
All the “animosity” between Hugo Chavez’s Venezuela and the United States didn’t stop them from selling oil to us, or us from buying it.
I do not care if some professor in some rabbit warren of a concrete university office building calls my thinking inexact and sentimental. Sentiment— call it love— for the wild is ultimately why Will and I became rangers. Sentiment is why any of us bother to raise children, who sometimes don’t appreciate what we do; why we care tenderly for elderly parents after age has deprived them of the memory of our names. It is why we try to salvage the juvenile delinquent, the alcoholic, the drug addict. Without it we are not human.
Jordan Fisher Smith, Nature Noir
Liang’s book does not say what happened at the end of either story. What of that family of eight? What of the animals and birds crowded in around them? Did they float thus through all eternity? Did they ride the waves in their enormous boat, beneath the rain-sodden sky, forever and a day, skin and fur and feathers, until they became one with the water, the wood, and the wind?
And why salt?
Hong fails the examinations. He keeps the book.
Jonathan Spence, God’s Chinese Son
Every once in a while at work I find a Christian tract left behind in one of the buildings. I wonder if these litterbugs really think a small piece of paper is going to change anyone’s mind. Then I remember Hong Xiuquan, a disappointed Chinese scholar who, after finding such a pamphlet (about Noah’s Ark and Lot’s wife, as related in the quote above), started a quasi-Christian uprising and nearly overthrew the Qing dynasty.
I played with grim determination, Jim.
Warren Zevon, Piano Fighter
Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
See how our slaves live!
I don’t know karate, but I know ka-razy!
James Brown, “The Big Payback”
So many plot spoilers below…
“Rise of the Planet of the Apes” was fun. I’ve read some criticisms of it, mostly from reviewers who took it way too seriously. Even with some good actors like James Franco and Brian Cox, the humans are the least interesting characters in the movie.
I have the original “Planet of the Apes” movie on DVD here at home. It has perhaps the most spoiled movie plot on… the future Planet of the Apes. Long before I first saw it in college, a clip from the end had appeared in a television documentary about the Statue of Liberty. Mel Brooks also spoofed its ending in “Spaceballs”.
Ape #1: Dear me. What are these things coming out of her nose?
Ape #2: Spaceballs!
Ape #1: Oh, shit. There goes the planet.
But the worst plot spoiler for “Planet of the Apes” was the cover illustration on the old VHS box which included a picture of the Statue of Liberty. That’s like putting LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER in 48-point Helvetica on the cover of “The Empire Strikes Back”. I saw it a few years ago in the video store and couldn’t contain my disgust. I complained to a nearby stranger and probably ruined it for him too. If I had never seen the movie I would have watched it wondering whole the whole time why there was a picture of the Statue of Liberty on the cover, and then finally at the end… well, I would have demanded my $2.50 back from the video store.
For that matter, the mere existence of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is a massive plot spoiler for the original. This madness must stop. Please everybody stop talking and writing about “Planet of the Apes” and quit making other movies about it. You’re ruining it for everyone else.
Mocha! Polka! Patriotic tapioca…
Dat’s what is my Iaccoca!
Berke Breathed, Bloom County
He ate them roasted, grilled, and frito! Oh what a horror was Pepito!
Ludwig Bemelmans, Madeline and the Bad Hat
As long as the reason of man continues fallible, and he is at liberty to exercise it, different opinions will be formed.
James Madison, The Federalist No. 10