Mild horses couldn’t suggest I leave.
This is fun: find a person named “Charles”. Replace “Charles” with “Chuckle” and add it the to first syllable of his last name.
We’ve both lost enough weight that now we park in the “compact only” spots.
Long Island joke: I slip, you slip, we all slip for Islip.
It was on snail.
A poster from the neighboring junior high school described the school’s four goals for developing character.
On my Facebook home page, there are these ads asking me to rate pictures of beautiful women with enormous breasts.
Guess what comes up when you type “massage” and “prostitute” into an Internet search engine?
Italian-Americans NEVER watch movies or television shows about Italian gangsters, no matter how well written or compentently directed.
I picked up a piece of trash, a white sticker (like a mailing label) with “Saved by chaperone” written in green marker.
On Saturdays public television has a lot of home improvement and crafts shows. This morning I caught a few minutes of the Katie Brown Workshop. Katie Brown is a young, hyperactive Michiganian who makes things like Frida Kahlo placemats for serving Mexican dishes. During each segment she trots out one of her assistants, each more […]
I have an idea. Let’s turn death into a resource for energy independence. We can hook up crematories to the power grid so that our precious corpses don’t just go up in smoke without contributing to the economy. For those who prefer burial we can harness the awesome energy of cadavers released during decomposition, or […]
A repost of a satirical letter I wrote to the Vice President after the Halliburton-related scandals broke. I’m sure it earned me a file.
I originally wrote something like this for a high school English class.
‘Twas the second to last Thursday, November,
An afternoon I clearly remember.
There once was a martian from Mars…
President Bush should add Norway to the “Axis of Evil”. They want to harvest Americans for bio-fuel. I suggest immediate regime change. 500,000 troops should do the trick. They can also keep the peace among Norway’s three distinct dialect groups, held in check only by the cushy socialist welfare regime of Jens Stoltenberg.
I was thinking that I would like a cat.