The Pillsbury Doughboy reminds my wife of the Michelin Man. But I wouldn’t poke the Michelin Man in the belly. I don’t think he’d laugh.
Flamingos would be even cooler if they were flaming o’s.
It is not easy to come up with a team name for Long Island.
After a long, hard day of slaying dragons, the last thing I want is to come home and find the Sackville-Bagginses trying to auction off my belongings.
I was thinking about fish and how they do not do a lot of thinking about me.
What if instead of phones we carried toasters around with us, taking photographs, and occasionally pressing a button when we wanted some toasted bread?
Speaking of General Tso’s chicken, I made up a story a while back about its origins.
My name is Scout. It’s a dumb name for a girl but then Jem is dumb name for a brother.
I want to fly North by Northwest Airlines.
Star chart or starch art?
She wore a red dress of grievances.
Holy infant so tender and mild, Batman!
Ziploque seals in Frenchness.
Funk without fun is just ‘kay.
Please God, how can I keep bugs out of my salad? Lettuce spray.
“But still,” I say when someone’s rear end jiggles too much.
When the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gets cut off in the right place it becomes: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latte
I did not steal from or hurt anyone today.
Is Superman good at drawing? If so, is he superhumanly good?