I went down to the bar hoping there might be a decent sporting event on TV. Instead, the NIT championship game was on, Baylor versus Penn State.

I didn’t even know they still played the NIT. What’s the point? I can’t imagine those time outs in the last two minutes had anything to do with game strategy. I still don’t know why Penn State was celebrating when they won. What did they win?

I propose a National Crapitation Tournament. The worst college basketball teams play a month-long, 64-bracket ritual of athletic humiliation. They don’t get to go home until they win a game.